Several years ago (at the peak of my superpowers), something happened that sent me reeling back to reality. But, hey, with three kids, a new house, a challenging career, and a hardcore workout fanatic — nothing could stop me! Or so I thought until I spotted a little blood in my urine. Paralyzed with fear by some internal malfunction I wondered when was my last visit to a doctor.
Had I checked into my health since I was in my teens? The answer was an emphatic, “NO!”. I was still feeling completely bullet-proof like I did at 16 years old, so why would I even consider going to a doctor?
It turns out that there’s a real problem in the U.S. with men not going to a physician. In fact, as much as 60% of men don’t go to the doctor. And, over 20 years ago, my apathy toward any healthcare visit, much less a regular checkup and screening, found me part of this statistic of ignorance. Without the forethought of an incredible doctor to help sidestep the mindless rules of the health insurance industry, there’s a good chance I might not be here today. At a minimum, the way that I experienced the world would have been dramatically different.
A Blast from the Past
Seven days ago while reviewing next week’s calendar this week, a reminder caught my stare. Red uppercase letters reading “PHYSICAL” let me know it’s time again to schedule my annual checkup. This is a simple, painless, and regimented activity. Fortunately, since this has become part of my annual routine, the results of this medical process have continued to return a clean bill of health.
Regular visits are important, but medical tests can’t tell the doctor how you’re really feeling and what changes you’re experiencing in your body. Getting past the embarrassment of sharing really personal stuff about how I was feeling, both physically and mentally, took a while to get used to. Still to this day, sharing any chinks in my armor with my doc is always done with a dose of shame.
The red label on my annual calendar never fails to take me back to the moment that made me a believer in periodic visits to a physician.
A Day in the Office
The day was like any other in the office. It was a fun place to assemble where colleagues’ stories fueled each of us to do more to catch up with our individual sales efforts.
Let me set the scene: the office decor was corporate drab. One large area, called the bullpen, was where all the account executives’ and solution consultants’ cubicles were jammed together. A couple of closed-door offices with ceiling to floor windows for management and a large conference room completed the nondescript arrangement.
The chin high walls separating our cubicles provided a little privacy but everyone heard everyone else’s calls and conversations. The constant jabbering could be annoying and distracting, but it was how the new guys learned. We benefited from each other’s stories of success and failure. Ultimately, the noisy environment allowed us all to bond and feel more like a team rather than just individual sales contributors.
Learning from Our Peers
We all knew when one of our peers was on an important sales call. Everyone got quiet and tried to piece together both sides of the discussion. Some pushed their chairs into the aisle to hear a little better. Others popped up like prairie dogs out of their holes to listen in. Getting to the office wasn’t exactly fun. The madness of being stuck in a sea of cars creeping along at five miles per hour through the clogged traffic arteries of Dallas could make an otherwise calm human into a madman.
A Life-Changing Event
One warm, early fall afternoon, Nature called me to the “head”. Standing at the urinal I noticed a trace of blood in my urine.
Seeing other people’s blood or butchering hunted animals is no problem, but seeing my own blood, especially in this way, instantly reduced me to a 90-pound weakling. I found my way back to my cubicle on wobbly knees, pale with fear.
Time seemed to stop while I was mulling over what all this could possibly mean. Not having a clue what to do next, I called my wife to explain what just happened
“Go to your doctor,” she said with a duh expression.
“What kind of doctor?” I asked.
“The guy you go see regularly,” she stated with disbelief that I could be so ignorant.
“I haven’t been to a doctor in 15 years,” I explained.
After scolding me for being a typical stupid guy, then accusing me of other assorted failures of men under her breath, she hung up and called several friends in town to find a decent doctor for me.
My First Adult Visit to a Doctor
A few days later, I was sheepishly explaining to my new found doc about the blood. He poked and probed on me and asked dozens of questions.
One piece of my family history got his attention. My mom’s grandmother had colon cancer. The doc suggested that we use this show of blood in my urine, blood from another test, and my family history to get a colonoscopy.
According to my insurance company’s rules, a colonoscopy isn’t covered until you reach 50 years old, which was many years away for me. He justified the procedure to the insurance company based on my examination and family history.
Luck or Divine Intervention?
My wife was by my bedside when I opened my eyes after the colonoscopy. The curtain swung open and the Gastroenterologist who did the procedure approached the bed.
“Mr. Bliss, I removed seven polyps and three were large precancerous polyps,” he said before any pleasantries. ”I never see young guys like you in my practice. Your GP saved your life. You wouldn’t have made it to 50.”
He explained it all in a very matter of fact way.
“See you in three years,” he said before zipping off to his next patient.
Still loopy from the anesthesia, the impact of the doc’s statements didn’t hit me until I got home. My mortality felt very real at that moment. My general practitioner never determined what caused the blood in my urine. He chalked it up to an infection, leaving me with instructions to see him if it happened again.
That visit to the GP almost didn’t happen. While sitting at my work desk after seeing the blood and contemplating my next steps, one I gave some serious thought to was to simply ignore what just happened. This was my default answer to most aches and pains at that time in my life. Maybe it was the vision of my wife and three kids circling in my mind that allowed me to pull my head from my ass and make an adult decision.
What Can You Learn From My Experience?
Know your family history. This may be the most important indicator of what your medical future might hold for you. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention states that colorectal cancer is the third leading cause of cancer-related deaths in the U.S. Men and women are equally at risk for colon cancer.
An Ounce of Prevention is Worth a Pound of Cure
If you have colon cancer on one side of your family tree, ask your doctor to find a way to get a colonoscopy screening in your 30s. If you have colon cancer on both sides of your family, your risk profile is much higher. Please share this information with your physician and press for early screening options.
Don’t take no for an answer. Find a doctor who will listen and help you.
If you don’t know your family’s medical history, take some time and find out what they’ve experienced. Make sure you share this with your doctor and with your adult kids to help them with their health.
Men Just Don’t Talk About Their Health
Listening to the conversations at our all-male sales office after my procedure, one topic you could count on never coming up in our discussions was medical stuff. God forbid that any of us would admit that we were human. It took several more years to pass before I got comfortable sharing my story with friends and colleagues. Hopefully, someone has listened along the way and helped themselves avoid serious future health issues.
